Got Faith?

Because of my blog, I have received the most encouraging and wonderful emails from people I have never met from all over the world.  Through blogspot, I am able to see where my visitors are from and how many have viewed my posts.  Let me assure you, I cannot see who has visited, but in general where they are located.  I have had readers from 11 different countries.  That is amazing, and it also can seem a bit overwhelming that I am reaching people that far away.   I feel in some way that “the pressure is on” to reach my “audience” that I am forming.

My intentions for this blog have never been for religious reasons.  I simply want to share my experiences of dealing with an unknown, chronic illness. However, some of the emails I have received deal specifically with the issue of faith.  With visitors from so many countries, there is no doubt that there are at least that many belief systems among people reading this.  I certainly don’t want to offend anyone, and I am by no means, an authority on this subject.  However, I feel this cannot go unsaid.

Since being afflicted with this adverse reaction to Levaquin, I have received all types of advice and suggestions.  They range from underlying causes to possible treatment ideas.  I truly appreciate all of them, for I know they are given with the best intentions.  However, sometimes the most comforting ones and at the same time the most hurtful ones, are regarding my faith.  I have been told that perhaps I am ill because I simply lack the right amount of faith.  I have even received books that also suggest this.  One particular book told me that if I read this book and accept all of its teachings, prayed more specifically, it will increase my faith, and therefore I will be healed by the time I finished it.   I broke out into tears, and promptly threw it away.  I was so angry!!

We are human, and because of that we get diseases, and have things occur to us because of human error. There are universal laws that simply apply to us, because we are human. It is not because God is punishing us, or because we have lack of faith.  I haven't been to church since this started in July.  At first it was because I was in such intense pain.  Now it is simply because I have to save what energy I have for my family, not because of lack of faith.  God understands this, even if people do not.  

Through all of my research of how to deal with chronic problems, I found Rest Ministries.  This ministry was started by a woman that has rheumatoid arthritis, and had difficulty finding the support she needed to deal with a chronic illness.  Rest Ministries is affiliated with Joni and Friends International Disability Center. It is NOT a ministry that proclaims physical healing, but that God is with you through the pains, the ups and the downs.  It does not promise that you will be healed.  I know people have fervently prayed to get well or family members that have prayed for loved ones, only to not get physically better.  I don’t think this means the person lacked faith.  I believe it is a part of being human.   I have found comfort in this ministry because it has helped me realize that I may not get back 100% to my former self.  That is o.k.  I will learn to deal with it.  Perhaps, I may not get physically healed, but maybe I am learning things that are spiritually healing.

I have found that I need to surround myself with positive thoughts, and avoid material that places the blame on me.  Although, I have received some “spiritual” advice that I don’t necessarily agree with, I also have received some great and loving support from those I have not met, or have not seen in years.  Those messages of love have meant more to me than anything.  Some have even brought me to tears, but unlike the book that said I lacked faith; these tears were oddly tears of comfort.  

So, to all of you who ask, yes I have got faith, and I do strongly believe in the power of prayer.    Does that mean everything will turn out great and I am guaranteed physical healing?  Possibly not, but I know that along the road, God will help me learn to cope, and make the most of this new life.

If you or someone you love suffers from an illness, check out the Rest Ministries or Invisible Illness Week links I have on my page.  They were started by the same person, and focuses on the love that God has to offer during times of illness.  I have read a couple of their books,

Why Can't I Make People Understand? Discovering the Validation Those with Chronic Illness Seek and Why (Conquering the Confusions of Chronic Illness) (This book gives insight into your own frustrations and emotions of dealing with an illness.   Not only is it beneficial for the person experiencing the illness, but for family members as well.)

Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend (Conquering the Confusions of Chronic Illness) (This is a small, but wonderful book, which gives great practical suggestions on how to be supportive of those dealing with illness.)