Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da, Life Goes On

February has been a trying month for me, forcing me to realize that despite how I feel, life goes on.   My husband’s travel has picked back up, requiring him to be out of town for the majority of the time.  We were fortunate that since I was floxed in July, his travel had significantly decreased until now.  His increase in travels occurred at the same time I was asked to help co-moderate one of the fastest growing online FQ support groups on Facebook.   Thankfully, we have a great team of moderators that have helped pick up the slack.   The increase of the demands on my body has not been easy.

I am learning that I have to pace myself, to leave energy for me at the end of the day when the kids come in the door needing snacks, homework, and dinner.  Unfortunately, these needs don’t stop just because my body has a hard time keeping up.  I have been lucky with the timing of my son’s driver’s license which has been beneficial in helping out in the chauffeuring area.  Driving is one of the most difficult things for me to do physically.  I STILL cannot drive for long periods of time.  My foot and arms will hold out for the two trips to my daughter’s school, but that is about it.  I will have to say this hindrance has been good for our checking account, since I am unable to carry out any shopping sprees, uh, I mean errands.  I find my body does not respond well to unexpected occurrences, such as kids’ illnesses, extra trips to the grocery store, sick dogs, or any “stressor” out of the norm.  I have a slow paced body, in a fast paced world. 

We have had some spring-like days lately, and although my neuropathy pain welcomes the warmer weather, it only makes me realize that the world continues to change around me.  I feel, in a way, I am being left behind.   As the days become longer and I see the new growth and rebirth of my backyard, I feel even more stagnant in my recovery.  I am craving to be able to work in my garden that I have spent years trying to create.  It is frustrating to stand by and see someone else take care of it or see it not done at all.   My body’s endurance is just not up to it.  It has been 8 months since my reaction, and I was hoping for more of an improvement by now.  I feel I have reached a plateau, neither getting worse or better.  I have had an increase in pain and weakness this month, but I feel it is more related to the increase in my activity level.   My muscles still fatigue quickly causing them to become sore and weak after very little effort.  I have learned that I need to tackle tasks in small steps, taking frequent rest breaks.  I have certainly come a long way from the first 3-4 months, but a far cry from being full mended. 

Doctor appointments are starting back again, and I received another opinion from a second rheumatologist.  He confirmed that my problems are neuromuscular, and my joint problems are more than likely secondary to joint instability from weakened muscles.  I am due to see my neurologist this week.  I feel I have reached my limit in acquiring any more answers from tests or doctors.  I believe there is not a whole lot the medical community can do at this point.  The best healer is time.  So for now as winter morphs into spring and I try to modify my living, life must go on.  Thanks for reading.