The last few weeks have been jammed packed with appointments, and this coming week is the same. I have felt overwhelmed with it all, and to make matters worse….insurance! My husband’s company decided to change carriers on April 1st. Anyone dealing with a chronic illness knows this can be a nightmare, and it has. This isn’t the first insurance change for us since last July 17th when this all began. This is our 3rd; yes count them 3rd insurance carrier in the last 10 months due to job changes, and now because of a company’s decision. It makes juggling all of these medical bills interesting to say the very least. I am still dealing with all three to make sure my medical bills are handled properly, and it has been horrendous.
`Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.
Fed up with it all, I finally threw a good old-fashioned temper tantrum. I have to say, it felt good, REALLY good. My husband even asked me what ship I fell off of because I was cussing like a sailor. Ironically, that very day a news article came out, stating that cussing has been shown to decrease pain. I knew I had a good excuse! The fact is, I don’t think I have ever been so angry since this happened. Oh don’t get me wrong. I have complained, I have complained plenty. Just ask my family. But, I don’t think I have ever felt like I really wanted to break something, throw something, punch someone, ANYTHING, like I have this week. I am feeling really PISSED that this has happened, and I am left trying to deal with insurance to pay for it all. I should be able to go to any physical therapist, doctor, facility that I damn well please and have it paid for! And, I should not have to jump through hoops to get it covered! It is NOT my fault that all three companies have a different idea of who is “in network”.
It seems one appointment lately, just leads to another. I have started physical therapy in a facility that offers aquatic therapy. My ophthalmologist, seeing changes in my eyes, has now referred me to a neuro-ophthalmologist. My physical therapist referred me to a podiatrist, who then ordered a MRI. The podiatry referral I am very thankful for. She prescribed a compound ointment for my right foot that has helped more with pain than anything orally I have ever taken. I had my doubts that an ointment could help, but I will forever love her for this. (See symptoms page for ointment contents). Physical therapy is going slow; however, I do feel it is helping with my endurance and balance. The warm water feels wonderful to all of my aching joints.
This week has been a trying one emotionally. The fact I am fast approaching my one year mark, and I still have such physical problems is frustrating to say the very least. To still be getting MRIs, repeat nerve conduction tests, and new referrals at this point is exasperating. However, this weekend was a perfect reprieve from such a bad week. Whoever said that music soothes the soul was right, and it is a great alternative to hurling fleeting expletives. The uplifting music from my daughter’s jazz band healed my spirit. She was also confirmed yesterday in our church after finishing an 8 month confirmation class. Top that off with Mother’s Day, and it was just what the doctor ordered. It was a great way to step away from it all until this week brings even more…. appointments, insurance, and bills. Oh My!
Thanks for reading.
5 comments:
I realize some of you don't have insurance, so please understand, that even though I am venting, I am very thankful I have it. I do understand it is much worse with out it.
Lori
I want you to know that I love ya! Hugs today.
SB
And more hugs!! I think you need all you can get. Sometimes that's all that will help..................... Like a sailor, huh?!?
Hey Lori, Ken Cook here from JCUMC. I saw email from another member recently about your site, have been reading thru many parts of your (and John's) blogs to get a sense of your story. And wow, what a story it is. I have "binged" several of the terms here just to try and understand what in the world you are talking about, what caused this, etc. I feel as if I see only the tip of the iceberg as to the genetics behind all these events, and just as little related to what you and the family must go thru every day. I didn't realize you are in OT, does that help you understand what your body is telling you and how you might help "fix" yourself? Our middle daughter wants to get masters degree in OT, has just graduated as Special Ed major. Know you never expected to have to use OT on yourself....
Will be praying for you all, and sometimes you just get away and let those terms rip out loud...Ken
Ken, Thanks for reading. I never would have dreamed all those years ago in OT school, how much it would benefit our family. Not only has it helped with understanding this, but it also helped with our daughter's epilepsy. In the early months of this, I was my own therapist, until I could get strong enough to benefit from the aquatic Physical Therapy.
That is great that your daughter is interested in OT. It is a great field and very rewarding.
Thanks for reading!
Lori
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